Friday 9 April 2004

Putting One's Self Out

Musicians, thespians, athletes — I honestly don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you put yourself out on a stage, a field, an ice surface, a gym floor, a studio, and give of yourselves, and let others depend on you. You work tirelessly in advance to give your best. You're ready, You're pysched. You know a Good Thing is about to happen.


And then everything falls apart, and you did it. It's your fault. You're the reason why this Good and Beautiful Thing has become merely something average, if you're lucky — something sufficient, something good enough, or maybe not.

I wonder, why bother?

The only answer I can come up with is this. The look on a person's face when you do it right – when you tell the story, when you win the game – that makes it worth it. I guess I'm just not seeing it yet.

Classes are now over. It's a strange feeling to be done. It doesn't seem like it's been five years, like I'm ready to go out to do something real. I still don't even know where I'm going, what I'm doing, and who I'm doing it with.

Send me your karma, send me your ideas, send me your money, send me your comments.


  1. I knew you put out Brandon and that wasn't real?

  2. To answer your MSN (cause you aren't online) because I got 1 chocolate egg from Mom while I was home in March and ate it before yesterday... braces are ok with soft hollow chocolate (can't have the solid stuff, or anything with nuts) but anything else is fine :P

  3. Andrew Hankinson12 April 2004 at 18:51

    i think I know what you're talking about, Brandon, and you didn't do that bad.... honestly, you're your own worst critic. I was right there, and I didn't cringe, so I think that says something. :)