Saturday 17 December 2005

I'm... It?

I sucked at tag so bad. It was the late 1980s, and I was a chubby little bugger with a broad smile, a poor diet, big hair and completely un-aerodynamic curls. That, and I hated every kind of physical activity that my parents tried to get me involved in: hockey, soccer, ..., that's about it, actually. What's with my siblings doing figure skating, tennis, badminton, basketball, track and field, volleyball, floor hockey and just about every other sport imaginable, but I only got to try two before they gave up on me.

Tag was that thing that was sort of like baseball, except there weren't bases, and there weren't balls, and you just ran a lot. It was like baseball in that people always seemed to know where I was going, and got there first to make me "it". And I would then be it forever. It sucked bad.

So anyway, to relate this anything I care about (and it's a stretch), I got "tagged" recently. Apparently, on the Internet, it's now classé to fill out irritating Internet surveys and tag your friends to answer them, otherwise YOU'LL BE UNLUCKY IN LOVE FOR SEVEN YEARS AND ANYBODY YOU TRY TO DATE WILL GET CRUSHED BY A FERRY BOAT.

Today's iteration: Five Weird Habits of Walter Branflakes

  1. If I'm in a bathroom with a bathtub or shower, I need to check behind the shower curtain/door before I... deal with the matter at hand — even my own bathroom, in my locked apartment. What it someone were to be hiding in there?So, peoples, do the neurotic a favour. Open your shower curtains.

  2. If I'm in a public place and hear people singing or a band playing instruments, I invent a harmony line for the music at hand and join in (very quietly).

  3. I conduct the radio, which can get hairy when the radio doesn't seem to have a defined beat. It also looks pretty silly, and can get dangerous when you drive a standard like I do.

  4. I hate the phone so bad that I haven't called one person outside my family since I moved to BC. I feel really bad about it, since there are a lot of people I miss really terribly back home, and the Internet isn't the communication medium everyone makes it out to be.

  5. I quote things a lot. Movies, television, music, family, co-workers, political figures. I figure that if it's good enough to be quotable, it will probably express my idea with more... moreness... than I ever could. The Japanese call that umami, like the taste sensation you get from MSG. My friends call it annoying.

So that's my list. Who will I tag?

Tricky? Taken. Minako? Taken. Jenni? Taken. Marilyn? Taken. I got in the game too late.

Let's go with: Nancy, Lauren, Heather, Kristin, and MEAT.

Most likely to do this? Lauren.
Least likely: MEAT. I don't even know if he exists any more. As far as I know, nobody's talked to him in ages.

Everyone is pretty unlikely, actually, but that's the name of the game, I guess.


  1. The details of my inexistence have been greatly exaggerated!

  2. Yeah, I am so doing this.