Since you guys seem to have so much fun reaming my academic prose, I couldn't help but offer up a burnt offering. Ladies and gentlemen, I present How to Read the Bible Book by Book: A Review.
Since it took the form of a book review, my writing style is a bit more casual, and I think I defended my own points a bit more strongly. I also admit to the death of my essay's conclusion. Conclusions are something I've never been good at, and which I've doubted the importance of - sort of like the Objectives section of a resumé.
Objective: A job with your company. Dumbass. Obviously. What were you expecting? A dozen homemade chocolate cookies and a cold glass of milk? A standoff between the gutangs, and The Hermit of Leaky Lake? What?
Compare with: In conclusion, if you read my shadily defined thesis, and the rest of my paper, you'd already know what I was talking about, and you wouldn't need to be reading this conclusion. Please go away and die.
I point out, once again, that while I was writing much of this paper, it was three in the morning, and I was feeling punchy. It was either a tounge-in-cheek acknowledgements page, an "I'm Going to Kill you All" page, or me, jumping off a bridge. I think I chose well. And seriously - caffeine doesn't get the credit it's due. It deserved this one.
Wish me luck on Intro. Psych.