International House of Branflakes: November 2003

Saturday 29 November 2003

Sweet, Sweet Nothingness

If you take a look over on Nancy's site, you'll notice the great news she provides regarding her feduciary situation. And good on her, I say.

Nancy is Better Off Than Me

As you can see, my situation is significantly less promising. Observe how the balances are so high that they have reached critical mass, and not even the light needed to make those numbers clear can escape their massive gravitational pull. Note also how this same gravitational pull blurs the account numbers as well.

Truly, I tell you, these balances are capable of making grown men cry. Believe me, I've done it. :-)

In other news, the trek toward completion of the Corinthians paper continues unabated. When it's finished, read it here first. Unless you're Dr. Evans, in which case, read the copy that I get to you using ADC's late essay handin procedures. At a hopeful 1600-1800 words, the longest piece of ~~incoherent crap~~ biblical exegesis ever emanating from my ~~pen~~ ~~brain~~ keyboard. I will look forward to reading my loyal fanbase's comments.

Exams start next week. Whee!

Tuesday 25 November 2003

When the Spammers Just Stop Trying

Before you get your hopes up, I'm not delivering news that I've discovered a new mind-contol technique that causes the spammers to stop spamming me. Indeed, like many people, I receive dozens of wonderful spam messages from ~~irritaing people who I just wish would go away and die~~ lovely people who I just can't wait to meet.

So when I say the spammers have stopped trying, I don't mean that they've decided to become less pervasive or ubiquitous, just that they've stopped trying to blend in anymore. Recently, for example, I received three unsolicited commercial e-mails (Spam messages), none of which I read, but the senders of which intrigued me most greatly.

These three messages came from two individuals, specifically Mssrs. Idiosyncracy Q. Interruption and Spacesuit M. Interjecting, and a group, Christian Debt Management.

Mr. Interjecting, or since I feel we're so close, just Spacesuit, promises me Top Dating Guide and Pickup Lines. Whilst I do admit to being single, I don't need help from anybody named Spacesuit, thank you very much. Our other good pal, Idiosyncracy, is willing to tell me how he learned his mafia secrets. Poor guys, what were their mothers thinking?

Hmmmm... I'll name my boy after a peculiarity, something strange with the state of things. That'll make him popular with all the other kids. Sure, he won't be able to spell his own first name until college, but... meh. Oh well, at least he'll be able to spend time with ESPN, and Saddam SARS.

And don't even get me started on Christian Debt Management. In other news, frightening television evangelists predict the end is near again this week. Help them pay down the mortgage on their new, palatial church building before the end time comes. I was going to say eschaton, before realizing that maybe two people who read my website know what the eschaton is. ;-)

On the life side of things, the big paper that I though was due tomorrow isn't due until Friday. That's good. Conversely, the smaller paper I thought due Friday is due tomorrow. That's -- less good.

Also, I need to be at the Atlantic School of Theology tomorrow at 9AM. That's the pinnacle of not quite so good, as I am (for the moment) the pinnacle of a Not Morning Person.

Wish me luck. Leave comments.

Ta.

Update - November 29: Add Bonaventure H. Parliament and Alternating P. Polyphonic to the list of interesting spammers.

Tuesday 18 November 2003

Don't Try Beating my Torch

The Apple XServe bragging about its redundant, dual-source power supplies is like a varsity football player bragging about the size of their wang. You already know they're better than you, so mentioning anything more is just showing off. :-P

In other news, I've, at last, written the last of my midterms this semester. The third Computer Architecture came to fruition this Thursday evening. Immediately following, in a moment of drowniness-induced improvisation, I added a neat new closing chord to the end of the Lord's Prayer. Awesomeness ensued.

On Friday evening, I enjoyed, in the company of friends, the 1st Annual Acadia Chapel Choir Marshmallow Fete. Marshmallow related products of every kind abounded. I personally liked the gouda cheese (most definitely not marshmallow-related) though. The beautiful strains of Christmas carols sung by a choir of sopranos wafted in from the piano room of Michelle???s apartment, and the marshmallow roast at the Wolfville Court firepit was an unqualified, if snowy, success.

Corollary to this, your Tip of the Day: If you ever find yourself unable to start a bonfire in poor weather conditions, just turn to your trusty propane blowtorch. Nothing can stand up to a propane torch forever. :-)

And corollary to that, your Questions of the Day: What exactly is a bon? And why would we want to catch them on fire? Your prize for answering this question is my undying love and affection, and a week???s supply of bons to burn. Ladies and/or pyromaniacs are therefore encouraged to apply. Pyromania is optional.

I await your answers. :-)

Tuesday 11 November 2003

We Will Remember Them

They shall grow not old, even as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the Sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.

- The Act of Remembrance

Tuesday 4 November 2003

Midterm Season, Part The Third

midterm this afternoon

preliminary sources for a term paper for Friday

midterm next Thursday

assignments due almost every day this week and next

In conclusion, please sod off. I love you all. :-)

Till we meet again, I remain yours most sincerely....